Tradition... to the next generation...

I read an article in Woman's Day mag last night that cracked me up... it was titled 'Here's to a year of NUTCRACKER moments'. As in a special experience you can't wait to give your kids that bombs- or at least, unfolds in a way you didn't expect. The author calls it being 'NUTCRACKERED'. She says when visions of sugarplum fairies dance in a mom's head, logic doesn't stand a chance. All I was thinking was that my turn had come at last to enter the theater holding hands with a wide-eyed daughter decked out in velvet, crinoline and black patent leather. The first strains of Tchaikovsky will play. The curtain will rise. So will the goose bumps... and then there is reality... Please bear in mind that this poor author's daughter was only 3 years old... and her son was 5. Not many kids that young have the attention span to sit through a ballet without getting restless, getting bored senseless, or falling asleep... all of which happened. Her expectations were too high. Now anytime she plans something special where her bubble is burst is called being nutcrackered... too funny. The Nutcracker holds a very special place in my heart. The very name means tradition to me, my mother, and my daughter. When I was a little girl, I would often find Nutcracker tickets in my christmas stocking. Not every year, but several times. My mom was trying to raise 4 children alone on a very fixed income, but she managed to scrape enough together to provide me with some very special experiences. When I was married and had 4 kids of my own, she wanted to pass that tradition on to them. She wanted to be the one to take them to the nutcracker for the first time. I was welcome to come along for the ride, but had to pay for my own ticket. My 2 oldest sons were good sports, and made an effort to act like they enjoyed it. My daughter and youngest son (who was 4) were mesmerized. 4 years ago mom was fighting colon cancer, and I had a prompting to take her to the Nutcracker... my treat. I bought 3 front row tickets, and took her to dinner afterwords. What a special night. She died the following September. I will never regret the money that I spent that night. Some might say frivolous... I say priceless. I couldn't bring myself to go the following year without her. My daughter asked a few times if we were going to go. I felt bad having to tell her no. She enjoys it as much as I had as a child. The next year just the two of us went. It was an emotional experience for me, but in a good cleansing way. This year my sister's oldest daughter is 5. Old enough to have her first time. I know that if mom were here she would have wanted to buy her first ticket... so I did it for her... (of course if Heather wanted to come along she would have to pay for her own... fair is fair after all... ha). What a magical night. Sarandon was anything but bored. She was literally on the edge of her seat, and a few times started dancing right along with the ballerinas. I won't say my emotions didn't get the best of me, cause they did. Mom was there. I could feel her presence. How glad I am that being NUTCRACKERED has better memories for me... though I do remember taking the kids to Disneyland for the first time... I was so excited. I couldn't wait to share that with them. And what happened??? NUTCRACKERED. Yep... they were little dream killers... " is this it? Where are all the good rides...?" Phrases that still haunt me to this day... but that's another story...

Jordyn and mom in 2004

Sarandon... isn't she adorable?

Sarandon and JordySue...

Me, Heather, Sarandon, and Jordyn...

This is a clip of mom's favorite number from the ballet... the Grand Pas de Deux . She thought it was breathtaking, and it is. Listening to it now is like having her arms wrapped around me. Enjoy...